An intimate and inspiring memoir of my journey of sadness, utter despair, sheer determination and triumph to become a mother after eleven rounds of In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF).
While IVF can create a pregnancy with many successful deliveries, IVF does not guarantee a baby, a full term delivery or a live birth. My decision to undertake IVF was never guaranteed to result in a living baby for me, and while this possibility absolutely rattled me, it was a risk I was prepared to take. I knew very well, once IVF worked for me, the outcome I wanted – which was a living healthy baby – was not promised and this made me incredibly nervous for the duration of my entire pregnancy.
Miscarriage, stillborn, premature birth and infant loss have brought many tears to four special women in my life. With my deepest admiration and gratitude, I have permission to share their stories.
My saving grace was optimism and hoping science would result in the fairy tale that IVF can be, because I could not see the finish line. I now feel determined to help and inspire others so their flame of hope might also continue to burn.
After ten tormenting and unsuccessful rounds of IVF, I am grateful for every moment. I hope my book of over 90,000 words inspires many people who are struggling, to find a way to try, try again or reflect and relate.
I hope people find solace in my words and they give you somewhere soft to lean for a while.
To people who haven’t experienced infertility or pregnancy/infant loss, I hope my writing increases awareness and provides an insight of what your nearest and dearest, colleagues or neighbours may be experiencing.
To people who have tried and were not able to fulfill their heart felt desire, please accept my admiration for your courage.
I’m honoured and proud to share my book has been recognised and mentioned twice in Parliament House, Australia.
To receive awards of such high accolade is an absolute privilege and is humbly received. Thank you Tanya Davies MP for reading the local newspaper and discovering my book. This mention was unexpected and I will be forever grateful
When I was in the design phase for the cover of my book, I sat down with my miracle, Jy and asked him if he had any suggestions. Jy responded with three ideas (marked in pencil) and apologised for spilling his water on the paper.
We did use the boy symbol over his birth photo instead of the E and decided we wouldn’t proceed with the other two ideas. We both love the final cover design.
I woke on the train, on the 1st of January 2020 and decided this was the beginning of me agreeing to publish my story and making a difference in the world. I had to answer the ongoing call to share my story and connect people through: emotion, heartache, trauma, relatability, vulnerability, determination, understanding, hope and healing. My book launched into the world on 27th November, 2020 which was my dad’s birthday. Dad inspired me to round five of IVF before he suddenly passed away with no warning, as explained in Chapter Ten ‘Dad falling asleep – forever’. Dad’s words would keep me going until the IVF victory round, “No Maher ever gives up”.
I’m not a medical professional (IVF, pregnancy or mental health) and will never claim to be. These incredible human beings study and train for years to help others. I will be forever grateful for their skill and kindness. My Fertility Specialist, IVF medical staff, Counsellors and Obstetrician called upon their years of training and experience and I leaned on them to cope with the next step. They gave me hope and solid ground in between my tears. They had a plan and I agreed to try it. We tried eleven plans. My strength and endurance were constantly tested when the trauma and heartache set in after failed IVF attempts. Despite how difficult it was, I tried to reset at night and surrender to tomorrow being a new day and opportunity.
A chapter in my book contains sayings and discussions I had with my son Jy throughout his early school years. One of the questions he asked was, “Where did you get me from Mum? The shops?”. When I explained to Jy he grew in my stomach, he had to know how he ‘got out’. When I advised him the Doctors helped, he said “Wow!”. Along with my son, Jy, my gratitude continues for the medically trained professionals who help many people and families in their time of need. From one very grateful mum, thank you.
To all the babies in the world, no matter where you are, thank you for meeting us in our dreams and nesting safely in our hearts.
Mum to An IVF Miracle from Mahers
Please sit back with a cuppa and enjoy my 30 minute interview below, with my outstanding and inspirational Publisher, Karen McDermott (https://www.